If you’re half the Beyoncé fan I am, then you might just be a lunatic. I am crazy in love with ‘Yoncé, her career, her drive, her message, and her moves. So few mortals are as talented as she, and I, for one, feel as though she can’t possibly be celebrated too much. 
Have you seen her new visual album Lemonade yet?? Mercy. It’s been about 24 hours since I watched it for the first time, and it has not left my mind for a moment. It is absolutely heartbreaking and divine, while all at once being a mind-blowing and groundbreaking work of art. That album has messed me UP. Now I have a completely different view of Beyoncé as both a person and a professional. Since watching the new release, I have yet to listen to any of her “old” music (which I normally do multiple times a day)– it just doesn’t feel right; it seems inappropriate and disrespectful to the somber and tragic narrative that is Lemonade (Sandcastles is just devastating). I need some time to heal and process, but I’m sure the hours are numbered until I’m back in Formation and bowing down. 
I definitely need to lighten up soon, because in just a few days, I will be checking off a high-up item on my bucket list by seeing her in CONCERT!!!! My mind begins to race whenever I think about it. There’s going to be so much screaming and dancing– I fully intend to be hoarse and sore the next day. If I do it right, much energy will be spent, which means much energy must be stored in the hours before the event. I’ve put together a fare that’s fit for any fellow member of the Beyhive to get you Bodied before the show, a Bachelorette party, or your own in-home dance party. 


Turf & Surf-bort

Surf n turf wwm

Grainin’ on that steak, grainin’ grainin’ on that steak

Turf WWM

Surf WWM

Rocket Salad with Freakum Dress-ing

I discovered a fun fact while I was brainstorming for this post: Arugula is sometimes referred to as ‘rocket’. Who knew? Use whatever salad toppings you please!
The Freakum Dressing can also be whatever you please. Depending on your toppings, I would recommend something zesty like a spicy ranch or my Creamy Greek Goddess Vinaigrette.  

Rocket Salad WWM

IMG_7632

Next, you’ll need some carbs. 

Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits

CB biscuits and box WWM

Because obviously something from Red Lobster has a place on this menu. 
These are really easy to make. The mix just calls for grated cheddar, butter, and water. 

Cornbread & Collard Greens Bitch Bites

Cornbread Collard bites WWM

“Ooh yas, I like that.”
I used a cornbread mix and stirred in frozen chopped collard greens. Add some finely chopped bacon or smoked turkey leg if you want some REAL southern collards flavor! 

cornbread and biscuits WWM

Definitely don’t forget to serve hot sauce– even if you just pulled it out of your bag (swag).

Hot sauce WWM

Now that the meal is planned out, I know you thinkin’ bout that alcohol. Let’s get you drunk in love.

Texas ‘Bama

watermelon margarita WWM


This is a frozen watermelon Texas margarita. Texas-Bama is more fun to say. 
To the best of my understanding, (please leave me a comment if you have more accurate information) what separates a Texas margarita from a classic margarita is the addition of orange juice. I added watermelon because if you couldn’t say, “I’ve been drankin’ watermelon” after this is all said and done, then I would have wronged you. 

Texas ‘Bama
1 lb. frozen watermelon chunks
1/4 C lime juice
3 Tbsp. orange juice
1/4 C agave nectar
1/2 C silver tequila 
1/3 C triple sec or Cointreau
pinch salt

Blend in a blender until smooth and serve immediately.

Lemonade


You obviously have to serve lemonade. I don’t make the rules. 
Add a couple shots of Blue Curacao and a splash of Sprite to make it a… 

Blue Ivy

Blue Ivy drink WWM

Because lil’ Princess Stankface deserves a shout out too. 

blue ivy stank face

If you prefer more traditional cocktails, I recommend serving Alabama Slammers and Hurricanes
OR you could keep it really simple with just lemonade and watermelon vodka on the rocks. 
OR you could sip Cuervo with no chasa’.

Onto dessert!
First, put out some cookies to subtly remind everyone who’s the Queen of the music industry.

crown and music note cookes WWM


I made a Freakum Dress cookie just for fun.

Freakum dress cookies WWM

Cake by the Pound

pound cake WWM

You WISH she was your pound cake.
This actually IS just a traditional loaf pound cake. I melted some white chocolate chips and thinned them out with lemon juice to make a glaze consistency. Then I drizzled it over the top of the cake, let it dry overnight, and sliced it. So simple and SO good.

pound cake close up WWM

I don’t think you’re ready for this Jelly (Donuts)

jelly donuts WWM


Just FYI- I got these at Publix and they were exactly what I was looking for. They’re not quite small enough to be mini donuts but they’re not as large as the regular size, so they’re a perfect accompaniment with the other sweets. 

Queen Bey Cake

Long may she reign.
You’ll need the special doll-topper to make this cake, but you don’t necessarily need a special pan. I used the bowl of my stand mixer. You could use any tall, narrow mixing bowl and then trim down to just the shape you want. 

beys full fftf

beys fftf

 Sweet Dreams

Ain’t no party like a ‘Yonce party cause a ‘Yonce party has themed candy.

Skittles
They’re the sweetest in the middle.
Skittles WWM

Halos
(Peach Rings)
Peach Rings WWM

You could also go this route for Halos:
halos oranges WWM

 

Watermelon

beyonce candies WWM

Last but not least…

This Rock, My Rock/ Put a Ring on It

Beyonce candies w rings WWM

unrapped ring pops WWM

wearing ring pop WWM

 

If you were thinking about going out for a generic dinner before the show, lemme Upgrade U. Throw a ‘Yoncé party instead!

Beyonce party spread WWM

 

 

***bonus blooper 

Remember this glorious moment??

I tried to recreate it on a cookie. It didn’t go great. 
Feminist cookies

 

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